Julie is the only person I can ever truly discuss my feelings with on the subject of her and I..and shes in bed. Soo right now my blog gets it, and most of you wont like what I have to truly say, but right now I have a hard time really caring about what any of you think.

We knew this would be hard..we really did. And I was truly prepared to face the criticism from everyone, but not to the extent we are. None of you will be able to relate to this, I promise..even our friends that arent reading this cant relate. cuz at worst, no matter what, you all at least had Julie and I's support through anything you faced. We at least gave everyone a fucking chance. No matter how we felt. Right now..we are practically alone. My family wont speak to me, and they've never met Julie. Beth and Jesse thankfully support us solely only the basis of seeing how happy we are, which means the world. My mom is the only person who has even given us a chance. Julies family will surely react the same way as mine. She has to hear from her brother what a mistake shes making with me every single night. Its fucking bullshit, I see whats wrong with it, I really do. 6 years is a large difference. And I would consider the argument that Julie is only 18 if Julie had the mentality of an 18 year old, she doesnt, plain and simple. What are we hurting?! what are we doing thats soo fucking terrible?! I havent knocked her up, shes not dropping out of school to come be with me, Im not altering her life whatsoever, if nothing else Im helping..I convinced her to not go to Akron WHICH WAS CLOSER TO ME! if she truly wanted to go to BG no matter what anyone said..when everyone else wanted her to go to a school they liked, I told her to go to a school SHE LIKED even tho it hurt me in terms of being with her, I didnt manipulate her, nor vice versa..we want to be happy, we make each other happy, if any of you would even give us a fucking chance youd know that, its so retardedly obvious how happy we are together. We arent running off and eloping tomorrow, noones trapping anyone into anything, we just want to be happy and none of you will even give that a chance! We dont know the future, im so fucking sick of everyone wanting to know whats next. WE DONT KNOW! but we are happy, and we owe to it that to at least try. If we fail, we fail post-something amazing and great to both of us. And we will both be truly hurt Im sure. But its our lesson to learn. Im grateful that tho Morgan and Ryan have their issues, they are attempting to not destroy it. As far as Joe goes, the biggest regret I have in life right now is currently supporting him through anything, its fucking sad I thought he of all people would at least understand and give it a chance. But I guess thats what happens when you listen to someone's hypocritical BULLSHIT about not choosing happiness and who you love, and how unright it is for everyone to judge them without giving them a chance AND EVERY OTHER SINGLE PIECE OF APPARENTLY ONE-WAY STREET BULLSHIT hes ever pushed onto other people, hypocrits truly deserve it, and Im sad I was ever on the other side of that fence with him talking about his father who he currently mimics to a T.

Im also sorry that for tonight, after another day of both of us facing the wonderful world outside of us..I doubted even for a second Julie was not going to fight for us even through a worse case scenario in terms of Joe and her parents. I was terribly wrong and Im glad. I know now nothing can destroy us. Im glad we only need each other for the most part in terms of our relationship surviving since thats all we apparently have it seems. And even if we lose each other till August or later, we will still be there waiting, knowing that has inspired a great sense to not accept people not giving us a chance. If you wanna doubt us, after being with us for awhile, fine. Be my guest, But if youve not even gave us a chance, I cannot simply give one fuck about your opinion plain and simple. We dont need you, we would like your acceptance and a chance, but make no mistake, we do not need it, we do not require it. If you think that is one sided, ask her opinion.

I dont need your rebuttals, your excuses, your bullshit arguement..In my current mood this week, I highly doubt Id even get half way through it without deleting it..This was for me, not you.

haha, my teacher is talking about ...stuff noone will understand. buut, they have variables P and V, and P points to a memory allocation that V uses...so, this requires him to keep saying P in the V, or P into V, or anything along that..and we are all making references and leading him into it and cracking up...he doesnt get it...its the small things . Bill led him into one soo badly too, by asking if P was assigned an int value of 69, and he was like "if the situation is that, and its 69, p into v just simply doesnt work." ..oh i love being immature.

gonna be a good week! Morgan is coming down today, i gotta find patio stuff (for free or cheap) to make a fire pit for future events! Thursday Ryan and I are going to get pwned at golf! and then thursday night the Iris! and the weekend should be decent, and then sunday its modern warfare night!! *sings* IM happpppy, im feeeling glad, i got sunshine, iiin a baaag.

...So its not going to be easy, and its going to awkward for awhile, and theres still massive things to overcome in the future, but at least now JULIE ...JULIEJULIEJULIEJULIE and I dont have to lie to the people who mean the most to us. Im sure any doubts or reservations about us will be overcome by time around Julie and I, I hear its hard to ignore our happiness from the few who do know...and Im thankful, tho guarded and suspicious, for the most part we are being given a chance. You will still see Emily from time to time, however. She was actually born a few years ago during Matt and I's writing. When we/I wrote fictional songs that applied to no girl we used the name Emily, and I carried it on over to here in order to talk about Julie when I needed too. ..Just so theres no confusion if you ever hear Matts wonderful rendition of "Die Bitch" that involves the name Emily. Oh and its a winner of a song believe you me..

So..thank you everyone..I just feel like I owe one to everyone so..Thank you. And Im also sorry to the people we had to lie to, especially Ryan, Dana, and Joe. And Im sorry that our friendships took such a drastic dive during that time, but its hard to face the people you have to lie too. Especially when its something like that. Hopefully, the friendships can all get back on track, and past all of this. Time will tell, and like I always always say.."we'll see" cuz thats all you can do sometimes.

Goodnight

@ Julie: ..(yeah twitter should have put a patten on that whole @ sign thing) Sorry about ur spring break..but i mean, at least you got a really huge winter break! spotted skunk? really? Sorry about your commercial too, I totally offered to put a bitch in a locker for you two days ago..but noooo, you like her sometimes..see, shoulda let me do my thing.

@ Morgan: I have way too much work to even catch up and do it stress freely lol

@ Joe: You have to roadtrip to Ohio! Cuz thats where we are all at! Im totally down with ur 2/3 beers to end a week, my problem is Id end the week with a 5th of something x_x and spend all weekend feeling like shit lol

@...haha, Lorac: Maybe I should get pregnant! Actually Im feeling quite confident about this no drinking thing! I might try that guitaring in cleveland thing tho!! that sounds win!